...laziness

i feel horribly lazy right now...
and by horribly i dont mean in that joking "haha i'm so lazy" type of way,
i literally feel like i'm about to cry.
i hate always having work to do...something i'm supposed to be doing is always hanging over my head.
i feel like i can never get a break, and the breaks i do take do more harm than good.
i just feel like sitting around doin nothing,
watching the rain clouds roll by,
or curling up in my blanket watching a movie with friends.
i feel like i cant accomplish anything...
my english paper could be a real masterpiece if i had time to focus on it...
i mean its pretty much my life, black girl goin to a majority white school...
but i feel like i'ma end up throwing it together at the last minute cuz i have so much else to do, and apparently time is on superfast forward
because days seem to fly now,
you look at the clock at 1
next thing you know its 5:30
like now, i swear it was 12 when i said i was gonna start my homework...
still havent started and its 3:30
...
i thought time only flies when your havin fun...
but time is flying and i'm not having fun today...
...
i have so much homework to do!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like this geology test, an inevitable failure cuz i dont understand it
never have, even when i pay attention i just dont get science...
this might be why i hate it so much...
not to mention the case study thats due next tuesday that is no where near done...
i really want to cry right now...
but laziness seems to be a stupid reason to cry,
i guess i'm also stressed, but i hate crying when i'm stressed, it doesnt help it seems like it just wastes more time that i dont have...
...i really wanna cry right now...
...
...
...
...
i dont have anything else to say, i hate feeling lazy, i hate being stressed, i hate wanting to cry and i hate that i havent seen my family in over 3 months...
i want to hide...from school...from responsibility...from sadness...from life...
...
~!~Ki~!~